All Is Grace

In the past handful of weeks I have been surrounded by highs and lows of grand proportions. I've written many blog posts in my mind but I haven't been able to keep up with the roller coaster that has been my thoughts and emotions so it seemed easier to just keep them to myself. And now it's hard to know how to play catch-up.

This morning I picked up my gratitude journal which has been neglected of late and as I was thinking on my blessings I saw the collection of simple and complex, blissful and hard, sweet and sour...and I remembered, all is grace. Back in March when I began the journey of writing down blessings and numbering them, I recall wondering about the ones that would prove difficult and if I would have the sight to see them as "eucharisteo", something to be thankful for.

Indirectly and directly, I have witnessed the really hard stuff of life striking different people that I care about and that alone is testing my vision. In the same mix, I have enjoyed precious time with youth pastor's wives, family and old friends...the kind of moments that leave a sweet residue on your heart reminding you that this life MUST be lived with others. And now I have the strange cocktail of both of these realities creating a bit of turmoil on the inside. Which will win the war on my emotions and does there even have to be a victor? Is there one purpose underlying each and every circumstance, one reason for giving thanks in the first place? Is there a unifying thread of truth beneath all of this that holds me together, holds life together? So many questions...

This morning as these question marks linger on the page, a song comes to my mind that was sung at the recent memorial service of a friend who now spends his every waking moment in the presence of Jesus. In my mind's eye I also see a picture of his beautiful wife singing these words with tears streaming down her face:

Blessed be Your name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say, Lord

Blessed be Your name, Lord

And it comes back to this...all is grace. Through all of this that is the chaos within, and the beauty and sadness that exists around me, the Lord remains. The Lord Jesus and His unchanging, holy, life-giving, salvation-bringing, hope-sustaining Name.