Google reader has been a helpful friend in managing my preoccupation in other people's lives but I still can lose complete track of time in the blogosphere.
Today as I was catching up on all my cyber friends I noticed something else that can sneakily creep up, catching me by surprise, in all it's ugliness...DISCONTENT! Yuck!
Please tell me this happens to you as well? I mean, knowing I am not the only casualty to the very icky feelings of envy and condemnation, would be a real pick-me-up right about now.
See just yesterday I was commenting for the first time on a blog I have "creeped" on for many months. I told the writer how inspired I am by her life and how God often uses her to bring perspective to my dailyness. I was singing praises to Jesus yesterday because of her.
Now this morning, a mere handful of hours later, (in my defense I am slightly grumpy from my sore throat and whiny children, please tell me that is a valid excuse) I am grouchily reading about someone else's inspiring life and feeling like I don't even come close to having it together in my life and I am completely missing the mark, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. And yes my attitude has become increasingly grouchier the remainder of the morning and yes the bear that is within this mama has emerged. My poor children.
So I am stopping in this moment to write about it, as a type of communal confessional even as I talk to Jesus in my heart and ask for His Spirit's Truth speaking power to rescue me.
My life is His and He is the author of it.
This I am reminding myself of even now. I'm feeling slightly better...I'm sensing a slight lifting of the weight of condemnation.
Thanks for letting me share...and maybe you have been here before too? Maybe not, I may be the only one.
Thank you Lord that my schizophrenia doesn't surprise you and that you can steady and right my rollercoaster thought life.
More time in Your Word and a little less blog stalking might be in order too.
2 comments:
Oh sweet friend, I totally get this. There have been times I feel exactly like that and try to muster up the energy to just walk away. Thanks for being so honest.
I miss you like crazy and hope we can catch up soon.
Valerie
surely, you are not the only one. My dear husband reminds me that blogs are generally for putting your best foot forward which can really throw a wrench in your wheels if you are not having the best day to begin with! I also have had to step away from reading when I find it is only making me ungrateful and wistful.
Lost of love
Kim
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