The Old Days

This past weekend I did something I haven't done in a good long while: I volunteered as a leader on a youth retreat. (Gasp!)

First, a few confessions...

* I didn't know if I still had it in me to endure hard beds, sleepless nights, wild games and random on-stage humiliation.
* I thought I would miss my kids a lot.
* I was certain I would miss Shane since I have NEVER been to a large youth event without him. (He stayed home with the kiddos so I could go - yup, he's pretty much incredible.)
* I wondered if my being there would have any significant purpose.

Despite these bouts of anxiety I asked God for His grace and He answered with a measure of peace, so I got my game face on.

A few things I learned...

* My body has definitely aged but is still resilient.

* A full night's sleep is not to be taken for granted.

* Squealing like a teenage girl while a large ball chases me down is really kind of fun.

* Spontaneous leader skit night is not even CLOSE to appealing any more than it used to be, HOWEVER, I can suck it up for the sake of laughter and good times...and I think I am less self-conscious in my 30's - sweet!

* I really did miss the kids but thankfully I was too busy to think about it all that much.

* I am SO grateful for the many memories of youth trips/retreats with Shane, I treasure them! Also, if I'm being honest, I don't like them as much without him there. Just saying.

* Lastly, and definitely the best part of the weekend, there is always purpose when you give your time to God. He may not reveal all the specifics to me but I can trust that one conversation, or one opportunity to pray with a student or a late night cabin conversation or whatever else He chooses, can serve His greater Kingdom plan. I don't even have to know because He's THAT trustworthy.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity Jesus!